In America, Pride Month is celebrated in June as a result of the Stonewall Riots in New York in 1969. When the bar was raided, the patrons had had enough of the police and fought back. Some say that was the beginning of the Gay Rights movement. For me, I believe the Gay Rights movement began in 1968 with the start of Metropolitan Community Church in Los Angeles, CA by Rev. Troy D. Perry. Unfortunately, queer people do not always want to deal with faith, so Stonewall was designated as the beginning of the movement.
Juneteenth is also celebrated in June as well. It is the recognition of when the slaves in Galveston, TX were finally told they were free. The “official” word for the end of slavery occurred in 1863 with the Emancipation Proclamation. It took two years for the message to reach TX. As a result, June 19th is seen and celebrated as a day of celebration of freedom for African Americans.
What does Pride and Juneteenth have to do with grief? In both of these moments in history, people lost their lives in order for others to have freedom. Grief is about loss and not always in connection to the loss of life. However, in this case, grief in connection to the loss of life is weaved throughout both these historical moments.
Many queer people lost their lives before people finally got fed up and fought back . An unfathomable number of African Americans were murdered as slaves before the end of slavery finally occurred. Grief is a heavy emotion and hard to deal with. When people lose their lives, we have to figure out how to learn to live with the lost. We do not “get over grief” we adapt to it.
I recognize June as the month of pride as well as celebrate Juneteenth. I also have learned to adapt to grief in my life. In a previous relationship, we celebrated both of these important days as two African American women. However, there came a time when I celebrated these days alone due to her death. I had to “adapt” to her absence and attend pride events alone and recognize Juneteenth with my other African American friends. It was not easy but I learned to adapt and continue to live.
As a result, I put my grief on paper and wrote a book. It is a book about grief in connection to the loss of a partner, the loss of human lives (AIDS) and the loss of security (sexual assault).
I believe it is important to realize that in order to have the freedoms we have, many people gave up theirs. When we celebrate Pride Month or Juneteenth, I believe it is important to be mindful of the shoulders on which we stand. We are not in this fight alone. We do not go through grief alone. Many people have stood where we stand today. I believe it is important, as we celebrate during the month of June, to be mindful of the people who lost their lives and suffered grief in order for us to live in freedom today.
If you are interested in reading my book of poetry around grief, you may order it on Amazon - A Love Lost: A Queer Journey of Grief by Wanda Floyd.
